She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize