you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
