I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize