Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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