I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
