You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
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I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
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By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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