it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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