I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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