tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
