You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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