she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
