this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
