i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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