hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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