I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
