3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
