I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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