I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
