We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
