I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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