Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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