going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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