it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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