For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
