OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
