Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
