I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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