we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize