took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
