WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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