1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
