I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
