Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
