Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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