Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
