Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
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Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
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I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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