this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you will always have a special place in my vag
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize