i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
