My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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