what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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