Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
