We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
