I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
