well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
