Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
