dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Too much gin, very little bucket
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
