And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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