You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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