i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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