we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
