it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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