I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
