I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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