So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
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Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
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Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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