apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
