I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
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Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
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I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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