She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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